"Great Sorrow and Unceasing Anguish" and a Date With a Friend

This is an email I sent to a friend recently. We had met the previous
night, and I was not acting myself. Maybe it will be clear in the
message.

I am speaking the truth in Christ--I am not lying; my conscience bears me witness in the Holy Spirit--that I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, my kinsmen according to the flesh.

Paul wrote this to the church in Rome in chapter 9 verses 1-3.

"I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart." What a description of desperation, pain, and frustration in the deepest part of who Paul was, and he says this feeling is constant. Yesterday I believe my feelings matched what Paul felt. Though I do not claim to have the depth of brokennes he had for the lost, however, it is real and I was feeling it. Sometimes it is hard to remember that this is a real feeling. I will feel this way and somewhat forget that it is biblical. The feeling turns into discouragement because I think on my inadequacy to speak and live out the gospel. I think it is a good thing, perhaps a necessary thing, that I really feel the depth of my inadequacy, however, I must trust in the power and sovereignty and grace of God. That is what must follow days like yesterday. Thoughts that God is mighty to save. Meditating on the reality of the gracious, redeeming, sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit. Thoughts on God's kindness that leads us to repentance. Then putting that together with the truth that we are this God's people. He is with us. We have been raised with Him in His resurrection. We are alive in Christ. We are His ambassadors. We are His mouthpiece. We are His bride.

I had not gotten full circle with these thoughts so I was down and I acted like a fool. I tried to hold myself together when we met, but it did not work that well. Praise God for the work He is doing in my heart in giving me a longing to see my workplace and my family and other friends redeemed. However, I need your mercy on the kind of days like yesterday. I thank you for your love and patience, and may God continue to transform our hearts to be more like Jesus. Remember when He wept over Israel. His heart was broken for the lost, too, and then He saved you and me 2,000 years later. How amazing!?

The Double Edge Sword of Cultural christianity

This is an email I recently sent to the leader of my small group at The Church at Brook Hills.
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Exodus is quickly becoming my favorite book in the Bible (As will the next book that we study.) Thank you for leading us bro.

This book(Total Church: A Radical Reshaping around Gospel and Community) has remained in my mind over the last month or so to propose to you and see what you think. And according to your thoughts and feelings we could then speak to the group about it or not.

The book's title tries to capture its message. "Total Church" tries to relay the message that the church is not something we do on Sunday morning or Tuesday evening. It is a group of people who are always the Church. Every aspect of life is an instrument to glorify God as His Church. Everything we are apart of, work, relationships (secular and Christian), recreation, hobbies, meals, exercise, etc. is all ministry, it is all outreach, it is all worship, it is all disciple making, it is all affected, transformed, redeemed by who we are as the Church. I think these authors' attempt to direct God's people into this kind of community could be helpful for us.

As recently as yesterday I was speaking with one of the guys in our group. He had said some very encouraging words to me, and I tried to encourage him back by saying, "Thank you for your words. Your ministry encourages me so much. Thank you for your faithfulness." He then asked me, "What ministry?" I replied back, "Your ministry. Your ministry encourages me." He still sounded somewhat dumbfounded. And I gave him some shpeal about how we are all ministers of the gospel bla bla bla you know how that goes. Then he said, "Well, it is nothing I would put on a resume."

I have to admit I was shocked and deeply saddened he would say that. However, here is the truth. I struggle with this, too. I have this mindset in me, too. Sunday worship is sacred. Tuesday night meeting is sacred. Saturday with Family Connection(a government run shelter we spend time at with teens) is sacred. Monday - Friday, 8:00AM - 5:00PM is secular. My spare time, secular. Our cultural christianity doesn't just produce nominal christians. It also plagues the real deal with this mindset that real ministry is not ministry unless it is vocational. It is not ministry unless we are all wearing t-shirts or name tags representing our Ministry.

So, let's pray and fast and cry out for the Spirit of God to help us. And then let's think about this book. Let me know.

[Some info on Total Church]

http://theresurgence.com/Total_Church_Conference_Video (This link has all the audio from a conference they did on the book.)

http://www.crossway.org/product/9781433502088 (This is a link to buy the book from Crossway. Very expensive at 16.99. I think we can get it cheaper, but you can look at this link to get info about the book.)

http://www.amazon.com/review/product/1433502089/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?%5Fencoding=UTF8&showViewpoints=1 (This has three customer reviews to read, and the price is much cheaper 10.87)

Confessions of a Hypocritical Voter

So…I was trying to think of something to write about the whole election, and I decided to write about some of the things that bother me. One can hear stuff all day about people who voted for Barack or McCain based on or not based on race. And the point is that what does it matter? If we as Christian are sent to live a life based on Love for God and Love for others why do we even ask these questions?

There are statistics that show separation in voters based on their race, but who cares? If 100% of all black voters voted for Obama and 100% of all white voters voted for McCain what does it matter? Each person is entitled to their vote, and whether or not I agree with it or whether or not that person didn’t make an educated decision isn’t for me to decide. But that isn’t what really bothers me. This is just a small aspect.

People all over are saying that Obama is black or no he is mixed or no he is this or no he is that. Why do we say this? Barack Obama’s race should have nothing to do with his capabilities, and we can’t say that people shouldn’t vote on uneducated reasons then turn around and question his race. That is a reason for why or why not to vote for him. Whether or not he is black, white, mixed or anything has no effect on his presidential capabilities. None. But again that isn’t what really bothers me.

What bothers me is to see people hypocritically chastise voters, and for people to neglect to accept responsibility. I will explain.

We are citizens of the greatest country in the World. America land of the FREE. That means although one votes in a specific fashion. He can’t criticize a fellow citizen for exercising their right in a different way. No not everyone makes the most educated decision. Most times personal convictions and exterior circumstances effect the way we vote for candidates. Whatever is the case you must respect people’s opinions even if they are based on the most trivial things. I can think of people that vote in a specific fashion just to follow the crowd and to go against the crowd. It is on both sides. Jesus says to love your enemies. Not just your friends or people that shares your views but your enemies. You think back to the story of the Good Samaritan. Was it easy for the Samaritan to help the Jew? No they were enemies. So realize that however hard it is to be around certain people you are called to love them no matter their actions.

Neglecting responsibility. Wow this seems like I am going against people in power, but that is not what I mean. Too often we as voters say “I am voting for McCain because he is against abortion” or “I am for Obama because he is helping out the poor.” But other than cast that vote once every four years what else do we do? We push that responsibility to fix thing off on some candidate that we barely know that has numerous other responsibilities, and then we sit back and complain. See if you are against abortion or social injustice Do Something! Christ said, “what you have done for the least of these you have done for Me.” So don’t just sit there and expect someone in Washington to fix all the problems. Take some initiative and get out and serve these causes.

I struggle with both of these so much and just writing them out makes me think of numerous faults I have. I mean I talk about serving the poor, and I have given away less than $20 to the poor this year. I spent $20 on cereal yesterday. My priorities seem so skewed and they constantly point back to me. Which is why I end this in the only fashion that I know which is to thank God for the Grace that He has given me because as I live and go through life and realize these iniquities in my life I see His mercy and grace more and more and more.

Stop...Look...Listen

Stars are a very interesting thing would you agree? They consists of burning gases and element that are contained within some kind of vortex. At least I think that is what they consists of. To be quite honest though I don’t know much about stars and what they are made of. I know they are bright, I know they are distant, and I know that there position in space is relatively constant in some planes. But they are so much more than that. A few weeks ago I was visiting a friend in Beatrice, Alabama and right before I started winding down for the night I started looking up at the stars. Now I know this sounds cheesy, and other things that aren’t typically characteristic of male feelings…..but it was beautiful. I saw so many stars…and as I was standing there in awe of how many there were and their magnitude…I realized that I take them for granted every single night.

How often do we stop and look around? How often do we look at nature and stars and just say wow? Once, twice…maybe three times a years. I mean being completely honest I would say on average I watch 3 sunsets a year, 0 sunrises, and I look up at constellations maybe 15 times a year. That is sad. What am I looking at instead? What is dominating my eyes, ears, and time? I think we can all answer that question with a number of different things…..stuff like girls, sports, electronics, girls, current events., school, work, parties, and girls. Why is it that we are so consumed with being in the moment? We ask what can you do for me now? And I am not saying that I am exempt from these feelings. I wish I spent more times looking at things like flowers and sitting in the woods….but in our culture today we are bombarded from every single direction by things. Do we not have time for nature? I heard someone say once don’t ever say you don’t have enough time in the day because you have the same amount that Helen Keller, Martin Luther King Jr., and Jesus had.

They made time for important things in life. And not saying that girls, sports, and hobbies are bad time fulfilling options I am just saying when viewed in a self-serving and chief importance kind of way---they are. All things are created by God and for God, and sometimes you have to come to the understanding of whether or not you are using his gifts strictly for your own pleasure or not. And personally I think that coming to an understanding that you have these problems can easily be seen when you are in the middle of nowhere looking up at the stars. You see things that show of a more powerful reason for living. You see things that are truly amazing. You see things that make your egocentric actions completely visible.

I guess what I am trying to say is look up at the stars, watch sunrises, stop and smell the roses. These are gifts from the almighty God. These are things that show His power, grace, and beauty. Make much of God.

Pilgrim's Regress, Part 2 "Complicatingly Simple and Seriously Honest Confession"

Here is the second submission for what I have labeled "Pilgrim's Regress". The idea for this came out of my own struggles with my 'indwelling sin' or 'remaining sin'. Because of this I assure you that I am preaching to myself.

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[1]Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are
covered.
[2]Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity,
and in
whose spirit there is no deceit.

[3]For when I kept silent my
bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.
[4]For day and night
Your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as by the heat of the
summer.

David's glorious opening lines give our context for the entire psalm: sin and its forgiveness. Before he gives his testimony and instruction he trumpets the blessedness of God releasing one from the burden and guilt of sin. Words that Paul would later quote as he argued for faith in Christ as the means by which one is justified from sin before God.

Then in verse 3 begins David's testimony. The testimony of a time when the fullness of God's forgivness had yet to reach him. Why is this the case? Why are his "bones wast[ing] away"? Why is he 'groaning all day long"? Why is his "strength sapped as by the heat of the summer"? What is the sovereign hand of God squeezing out of him that it is "heavy upon him"?

Notice the first words of verse 3, "For when I kept silent". There is something he is not speaking that is causing groaning and bones to waste away and strength to be sapped. Through David's grief God is going to wrench words out of this man's heart to his lips that will bring life to his soul, harmony to his relationship with God, and forgiveness for his sins.

Verse 5: "Then I acknowledge my transgressions and I did not cover my
iniquity. I said, 'I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,' and you
forgave the iniquity of my sin."

Bada bing. There it is. He confessed. He "acknowledged [his] transgressions." He "did not cover [his] iniquity." He "poured out his heart to [God]."(Psalm 62:8) He "cast all [his] anxiety on the Lord."(1 Peter 5:7) And there are so many other terms and phrases to capture that which is simple and honest: confession.

"I acknowledged my transgression" - Simple
"I mean that is it? Really?"

Really. He acknowledges his transgression. He says, " I know I have transgressed against You, God. I know there is blood on my hands, I know there is lust in my heart, I know there are idols I am bowed to, I know there are addictions I feed on, and I know it is all against Your law."
Acknowledgement is the opposite of what Adam does when God comes to him after the fall.

[11]And God said, 'Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?' [12]The man said, 'The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.'" Gen 3:11-12

The first man would not simply acknowledge his disobedience, and we fail today still.

I must go on a tangent and mention that just because confession is simple does not mean it is simply done or it has simple effects.

Obviously it is not simply done. Adam struggled with it, David struggled with it, and I struggle with it. And look at the length by which God goes to bring this confession out of David. He is ripping this man up to lead him to confession.

Nor, is confession just a breathing out of some words along the lines of "Yes, I am a sinner." There is a broken heart that these words flow out of and there is a transformed heart that follows.

Therefore, I submit and end the tangent by saying confession is a simple expression from a complex, powerful work of God that wroughts deeper faith and desperate repentance. It is simple, it is not simple.

"I did not cover my iniquity" - Honest
David's words testify that before his confession he did attempt to cover his iniquity. Our first parents are again a witness that this is our sinful tendency and bad 'strategery' as well.

"Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden." Gen 3:8
I mean really, what a couple of goobers this couple is. Seriously? Hide from God? However, this is the same way David handled his failure to confess, and the same way I do often.

Anyone with any kind of belief in God surely will not deny that God knows when we have sinned, and if one believes the Bible with any conviction then surely he would agree with Moses, "You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of Your presences." Psam 90:8 All too often, however, this is not how I respond when I stumble into sin. I like, David and Adam, cover my iniquity and suffer much in communing with God. (I am not saying that we stop communing with God if we are true Christians, we just suffer while we do.)

So, may we with psalmist from Psalm 103 freely cry out "[23]Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. [24]See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting."

To help us in confessing our sin God has given us some wonderful examples from His word Daniel 9 and Psalm 51 are accounts of two men ridiculously close to God who are seriously lifting up there hearts and crying out for mercy and repentance. The rest of Psalm 32 is also wonderfully helpful to find instruction from.

Pilgrim's Regress, Part 1 "Fight Death with Life"

In 1678 while in prison for preaching the gospel John Bunyan wrote what has become one of the most well known books in all of English literature, Pilgrim's Progress. Since the book's first edition was printed over 300 years ago there has never been a time that Pilgrim's Progress has not been in print. I heard somewhere that until recently it was the most widely owned book outside of the Bible until an adventurous magician named Harry Potter was published and outsold it. Pretty impressive credentials.

I picked up Bunyan's classic a couple of weeks ago and it did not take long for me to realize something seemingly contradictory. It was that as the main character, whose name is Christian, goes along on his allegorical pilgrimage towards the Celestial City there was not always progress. At one point on his journey he takes nap (symbolizing Christians' tendency to get complacent about the gospel), at another point he is deceived by Worldy Wiseman to try to climb Mount Sinai (which represent the law) to salvation, and there are other sidetracks along the way that seemingly don't always present Chirstian as progressing.

The past week for me has been such a case for myself. There have been those weeks in the past and there will be more in the future. The testimonies of struggling saints are saturated in Scripture, and nothing in Scripture indicates that pilgrims will never fall into sin (or be persecutad or get sick. And in some cases quite the opposite.).

Now I put forth question "What are we to do?". I say, "I have become a Christian, I have been born again, I have trusted Christ, the old is gone, the new has come, etc., etc., etc. But I still struggle with sin. My mind starts to lose control. My eyes and hands wander. My mouth blurts out. I still struggle with sin." And so I ask, "What am I to do?"

Before I make any attempt to answer this question I must say that others have already put forth better and definitely more complet answers. Namely: Future Grace by John Piper, Whiter Than Snow by Paul Tripp, and The Mortification of Sin by John Owen.

Here is my first submission for saints in the midst of their battle against their sin:

"Fight Death with Life"

"The wages of sin is death" Rom 6:23, "After desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full grown, gives birth to death." James 1:15, "You must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die." Gen 2:17. Simply put sin equals death.

Recently I have been meditating on the portion of Psalm 119 that contains these verses.

"[143]Trouble and anguish have exposed me, but in Your commandements I
delight
[144]Your testimonies are righteous forever; give me understanding that I
may live."

Did you catch that in verse 44? “Give me understanding that I may live.” So, there is an “understanding” that comes from God that causes us to “live” which is the opposite of death.

And elsewhere:

"[17]So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer
live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. [18]They
are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God
because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their
hearts." Ephesians 4:17-18

"Don't live like Gentiles (or unbelievers)," Paul says. What is wrong with unbelievers that they live as they do? "The futility of their thinking." He goes on to say their understanding is "darkened...and seperated from the life of God."

Darkened, futile thinking equals seperated from life. It equals death.

Let's see if Paul leaves us hanging.

"[19]Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to
sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for
more. [20]You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. [21]Surely you
heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in
Jesus. [22]You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put
off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; [23]to
be made new in the attitude of your minds" Ephesians 4:19-24

Paul mentions, "the truth that is in Jesus." And also he says, "to be made new in the attitude of our minds." I submit: this is what the psalmist spoke of when he begs of God, "Give me understanding that I may live."

"If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32


Lord God, give us understanding that we may live. Understanding that will move us to delight in You and not deceitful desires. Have mercy and draw us near, Lord Jesus.


C.T.

American Idolatry

The first commandment given to Moses from God is You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. (Exodus 20:3-4)

So this seems like a pretty simple thing to follow, and as a kid i thought it was... i thought it meant that i couldn't worship many gods like the Romans did or the Greeks did. so i though i was clear with no problem, but that wasn't really the case.

In this day in age we are no different that the greeks, romans, or native americans in worshipping many gods. we still worship multiple things just like they did. sin is sin. the only difference is that they gave individual names to things. they worshipped the god of wine...do many of us not worship at the feet of Jack Daniels? they worshipped the gods of sex....how much money and resources do people spend each day towards pornography?

As i said earlier i once thought that idolatry never affected me, but the more i grow as a Christian i learn how much of an idol worshipper i was and in some cases still am. This saturday 86,000 people will pour into auburn to watch a football game that has no eternal value. there will be several of these events going on around the country every saturday through the end of this year, and you have to ask yourself What are we worshipping? Where is our time and money being spent?

Now there is nothing wrong with going to a football game on saturday...and there is nothing wrong with watching it every weekend. But i ask you next time you are sitting in those stands or laying on your couch eating chips and dip...ask yourself...what are the desires of my heart? Do i crave God like i crave college football. and this is something that i battle with all the time...even right now writing this blog as i look forward to the upcoming season.

God sent his son Jesus Christ to the earth to die and atone for our sins so that it may be possible to be saved by God for eternity. So as this football season goes on...or whatever it is you think you spend to much time replacing God with....remember the reason for your life. remember to worship the creator and not the creator.

1st Corinthians 9:25-27 says this--25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 27No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

Look Who's Watching Now

So yesterday me and some bros went to Campus Crusades for Christ and man I tell you I felt weird. the whole time when planning to go there all i could think about was "i wonder how many people are just coming to come tonight?" and while i was there i continued thinking about it and even started to think about my Christian walk and comparing to other people in the room.

Wow! i mean can you believe it I was the person that I was looking for.

I was singing a song in the middle of the service and that is when i had that little epiphany. I was singing a song and until five minutes ago i didn't even know the meaning to it, and i realized i was just singing to sing. i was just moving my lips because everyone else was and i didn't want to be seen not singing. My act of worshiping God was changed into an act of worshiping matt. I mean what happened? Why did my heart change? It is a strange feeling to be in Church, be a Christian, and know your heart isn't in it at the moment. But it is a terrific feeling when you realize that apart from God you are nothing. When you realize your earthly actions and put them down to truly connect with God. It is awesome.

Judgement and Self Righteousness are such a struggle for me sometimes. I allow my mind to get consumed with it at times. One thing builds on another that builds on another. it is hard man, hard. But you just have to realize that in your earthly body you will have earthly desires, and in those moments when you actually realize those desires do as CT said earlier-Turn your eyes upon Jesus. I mean just sit there and say forgive me and take this away from me. Because at those moments of subconscious sinning when you do it before you give it any thought..those are the times when you realize that Paul was right when he said for a Christian to die is gain. Because once i die my earthly body will be forever gone and i will be united in Heaven. and at that time i will never have any of these shameful and sinful moments.

World Wide Web Resource Sharing

For some time now I have been wanting to get kicked off what I have now called the "World Wide Web Resource Sharing" section of Blog1820 (brought to you by Matt Bean and Associates).

The idea is simply highlighting a website that we believe to be very helpful. The help could be free resources like sermons or devotionals or other blogs. Or it could also be a bookstore website. Or even a website that is not necessarlily "Christian" like a good news site or a blog that has insightful cultural commentary. So basically any site that we think would be worth you browsing around.

The first site I would like to write about is the one that I visit most often as it has helped me tremendously, that is desiringGod.org.

The official sub-title of the website is "God-centered resources from the ministry of John Piper", and the reason I check out this site so often is just that. From the blog posts to the sermons to the audio interviews to the books at the bookstore, all of it is incredibly "God-centered". Not to mention all of the resources are free. Even the bookstore (which already has good discounts) has what they call a "anything you can afford policy" in which they will send you books for free. Literally. Of course they ask that this not be abused, but nonetheless Desiring God is a solid group of folks.

I must admit what largely draws me to this website is "expositional exaltation". This is the preaching style that Piper demonstrtes as he powerfully proclaims the word of God in every sermon.

"Expositional" is used to describe his style because the Bible is exposed. These are not some light-hearted, fancy-pancy, "life-message", Bible-tip-toeing-around sermons. The Bible saturates every message, and typically a single text is unfolded as the message is unfolded and applied. As opposed to a Bible passage being read at the beginning and then not really having too much connection to the rest of the message.

"Exaltation" is the second word used in describing Piper's preaching style. This is so because he does not merely teach the Bible or talk about the Bible. Rather he aims to exalt the Bible, to proclaim it, to herald it. If this is the word of God we have received there must be passion in our hearts as we preach, and Piper is a wonderful example of God's grace stirring this passion until it overflows.

I conclude: Give this site a look and at the very least check out at least one of Piper's sermons. There is a great search tool that can link you with any topic or passage of Scripture in which you desire deeper understanding. You can read the manuscript, listen to audio, or watch the video, and once again all for no cost.

C.T.

I....I.....I

So Wednesday night i was sitting in my room thinking about my actions last week in biloxi, and how i was feeling in the casino and what not and i came to a few very interesting conclusions.

the first- is just an analogy about sin....it is really just an interesting picture to think about, and here is how it goes. Satan is a casino...and he lets off this image and then he can provide with everything you have ever wanted. He says come on in...get some free money...free alcohol...strippers...anything you want. its all inside and its all free. and we fall to it...we go inside. and we stay there until we finally come to the understanding that we aren't winning. we are losing are lives and actions are getting more and more fractional. You look around and see that the casino is just a massive illusion of false desires. And then we finally count our losses and leave not because someone made us or because we realize what is outside the casino is real...it is liberating it is life...it is everything. Satan is a delusion and it is sad that we fall for it due to the sins of Adam. Because as Paul said about God "Who can resist his will"(Romans 9). But we must rejoice because God gives us the chance to leave because he has conquered all things.

Now i am sure there are many more analogies to be made, and i am sure there are exceptions to the post. But the point is what it is...

Second...I picked up the Bible...which by the way is a pretty good thing to do whenever your mind seems to be clouded...considering it is like the Word of God and all. Anyway i started reading 1st Corinthians because i love how in the beginning Paul says "I praise God for the amount of Grace he given you through Christ Jesus" because to many times i just have to sit here and thank God because he has given me ample amounts of grace. Going on i read a part that really touched me at the end of the first chapter. In verses 18-31..Paul speaks of how God is everything. and how God uses the things that we think make us powerful to make us weak. Sometimes all I do is think about what i have done to further my walk with God, but what i must remember is that God did it. I did nothing. Apart from God there is no good in me. You know think about this...God is the Creator of all things. he is the owner of all things. You think you have a lot of money..God created the concept of finance. You think you are good public speaker...God invented speaking....it is pretty interesting to think about and it shows you just how infinitesimal we are. And is it says in the end the only thing we have to boast in is God.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus

Over the past week and a half or so my time spent in the mornings at Panera Bread have been kicked off with a wonderful glimpse into Pslam 119.

What a sweet song. There are so many "one -liners" that are incredibly rich for my soul. I sure hope I get the opportunity to study some of the broader themes. As it is I will attempt to bring one of the "one-liners" to light in this post.


"[35]Direct me in the paths of Your commands, for there I find delight.
[36]Turn my heart toward Your statutes and not toward selfish gain.
[37]Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to Your word."
Psalm 119: 35-37

"There are worthless things this I know for the Bible tells me so." That should have been a line in a song in children's Sunday school class. And there must be something about the way that these worthless things look for he asks God to turn his eyes away from these things.

Amazing! He asks God to turn his eyes from these things! God is his hope for his eyes!

Working backwards now to verse 36: There is selfish gain to be had. Who could not affirm this? O how the mantra of our day is "Gain, gain, gain. Consume, consume, consume."

And again the psalmist shows his and our only hope is God. "[You, God] turn my heart to Your statutes." It is there in His word that we hear of "treasures in heaven" and "an inheritane that can never perish, spoil, or fade." In other words not worthless things. And we hear "Worthy is the Lamb" whose "precious blood" bought us. Jesus is the epitome of selflessness, and He is infinitely full of worth.

Now to verse 35: Aha, the turning of the eyes from eye-appealing worthless things, and the turning of the heart from the surface-level success of selfish gain does not leave one unsatisfied! It does not leave one unfulfilled! It does not leave one discontent! It does not bring us to monotonous, empty obedience! "Direct me in the paths of Your commands, for there I find delight." The delight that seems to be in worthless things is at best a mirage. The satisfaction from selfish gain always leads to misery. It is in the paths of the commands of God where delight is found:
"You have made known to me the path of life; You fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand." Psalm 16:11

"Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked...But his delight is in the law of the Lord." Psalm 1:1a-2

"I rejoice in following Your statutes as one rejoices in great riches...I delight in Your decrees." Psalm 119:14-16a

"Open my eyes that I may see the wonderfull things in Your law." Psalm 119:18

"I run in the path of Your commands for You have set my heart free!" Psalm 119:32

"If Your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction." Psalm 119:92

"Oh, how I love Your law!" Psalm 119:97a

"How sweet are Your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!" Psalm 119:103

I pray it may be all that is precious to us in such a way that all our other desires bring fame to Christ's gospel, and in on the same note that all of the rubbish that deceitfully attractive would lose its luster.

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus,

Look full in His wonderful face,

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

In the light of His glory and grace."

C. T.

Este fin de semana

so i have been a little unsure and a little uneasy about this weekend. why? well i am going on a bachelor party to biloxi. and what is wrong with that...absolutely nothing. Bachelor parties can be good things..i mean All things were created by God and for God. The problem is i know my limits...and i know that i can not handle myself down in that environment. I am weak when it comes to gambling, drinkning, and sex. weak. Now don't think i am chastizing this things because as i said earlier All things were created by God. When Mark Driscoll was asked if masturbation is a sin he said, "No....but lust is" and that is where my problems and most other peoples lie.

Today though i was praying in the steamroom at Moores Mill... and i basically asked God to just take this situation and weekend and do with it whatever He wills. Afterall He is the only good that is in me. Without God i am an evil, godless, sinner. I have no hope in anything else. But with Christ i am righteous by my faith.

My God is a loving, faithful, and strong God. He will do for me whatever is in His will, but i must be willing to follow Him no matter where he leads me. Biloxi, Africa, or Auburn. And so this weekend i will sin...whether it is greed, lust, pride, or anything. But before and after this weekend Jesus Christ will remain the most important thing in my life and my only true desire.

Put something up

ok ok i am putting something up...see thing is i read something and i am like man i need to share that and then by the time i get around to i don't. Why? Because i am lazy. I am come to that understanding. it is hard for to me to admit sometimes, but it is the truth. And laziness isn't just something that is to be laughed at and thought of as just something that is a by product of my personality.Laziness has come to effect a lot of things in my life not just my dedication to put things up on the blog. Laziness effects my spiritual growth, my physique, my friendships, and my work. Laziness is something that i truly battle. Whenever i just lay around and do nothing the devil always strikes. It is true with me that idle time is the devils playground, and unfortunately i have learned this the hard way.

It took me 2 months to finish my last book "When I Don't Desire God" and it has been one of the most influential things i have ever read. Why? Not because i "Don't Desire God" but because i do desire God. I desire God all day, but too many times i fall into a time of spiritual despair and need help because my laziness has allowed the devil to overcome my life. But back to the book...it taught me so much. It had some many good little nuggets in it that seemed to point directly to my life. i need to read the book again so i can fully devour it, but i will say from my initial perspective it gave me so many things to use in my life to fight laziness and sin and i will give you a few examples here.

1. Pray...for so long i have always thought as my prayer life to be the same as everyone else's prayer life. You know i lay in bed or get on my knees or simply bow my head...tell God how great He is, ask for His forgiveness, pray for other peoples needs, pray for my desires, and keep everything in accordance with His will. But in the last few days i have found that there is more to prayer than that. In fact in three days... i was randomly confronted through video sermons and book by Andy Stanley, Mark Driscoll, and John Piper on prayer. I am pretty sure this was God telling me i needed help with prayer. Anyway in the end i learned these things

--Andy Stanley pray according to Gods will..As it says "Thy Kingdom come, Thy Will be done." too many times without even realizing i try to conform Gods will to mine. I do this by saying stuff like God help me to stop lusting...then i go watch some tv show that promotes sex. See praying for Gods help was good. But i wasn't praying for His will to be done. I was just praying for him to save me without me even putting up any effort. Andy Stanley made a reference to when Jesus was praying in the Garden the night He was captured and how He prayed all night long...and at the very end He says "Not what I will, but what Thou wilt" i mean that is prayer right there. So the first thing i remember is to always keep things according to His will. Turn whatever it is you or are holding over to God. Because it is His will that must be done.

--Mark Driscoll be respectful yet original in prayer. Mark speaks of how when you are coming to prayer there isn't anything special or any kind of prayer that must be quoted exactly every time. Mark speaks of how in the end you are coming to your Father. You are coming to the One who has saved you...so say exactly and whatever you want to say but say it in a respectful way. Big words and elaborate thoughts don't impress God. Humility and Love are what He is after.

--John Piper says pray often. Pray in a regimen however many times a day and follow that regiment everyday. Find a quiet place where you can come everyday at the same time and offer up to God all that is on your heart. John Piper makes a reference to Daniel...who if you have read the story had an incredible prayer life. Daniel was told only to pray to the king, and Daniel being a faithful follower of God wouldn't pray to the earthly king. He prayed to God the same way he had done always...at the same time...at the same window. And what happened to Daniel-he was thrown in the lions den-and what did Daniel do-he prayed-and what did the lion do-he didn't eat Daniel. Why? Because Daniel had supreme faith in God to deliver him from evil. He was a consistent and diligent prayer his entire life.

So the first thing i learned was prayer

The other thing I learned was to look around. "The Heavens declare Your wonder." Look at all God has done. Look not just at each day being a day. Realize that each day is an individual and different. Each day and everything around was created by God. And if that doesn't humble you then look harder. Look at people not just as people, but as individual creations by God. I tell you it is a completely different perspective on life if you do this it is truly amazing.


Whew...i tell you i could go on and on about what i learned. Things about reading your Bible, learning about other religious scholars, memorizing scripture. I tell you "When I Don't Desire God" by John Piper is truly an amazing book and i think all people should read it. Whether they are in spiritual despair or not.

But in the end i have to end this in by just saying thank-you to God...because He is the only good in me.

Summer Jewels

Here are some of the 'jewels' I have pulled from reading and listening this summer.

"We are persuaded that Jesus was a historic person possessing two distinct and perfect natures, Godhead and manhood, and in this to be absolutely and forever unique. Only so could He be worthy not just of our admiration but of our worship." Basic Christianity by John Stott pg. 6

"If to believe in [Christ] was man's first duty, not to believe in Him was his cheif sin." Basic Christianity pg. 25

"This utter disregard of self in the service of God and man is what the Bible calls love. There is no self-interest in love. The essence of love is self-sacrifice. The worst of man is adorned by an occasional flash of such nobility, but the life of Jesus irradiated it with a never-fading incandescent glow.
Jesus was sinless because He was selfless. Such selflessness is love. And God is love." Basic Christianity pg. 44-45

"Sin is fundamentally the exaltation of man at the expense of God. What someone wrote of the Englishman is true of every man: 'He is a self-made man who worships his creator.'" Basic Christianity pg. 65

"Sin does not only estrange; it enslaves. If it alientates us from God, it also brings us into captivity." Basic Christianity pg. 75

"I have seen many men make it through tough times. I have seen very few endure prosperity." Pastor Charles Swindoll

"Because the confession of sin is the act of a sinner, it can be sinful. God is not deceived, but the sinner may deceive himself." Interpretation: Psalms by James L. Mays pg. 147

"Wealth...is a powerful seducer. However, as E.J. Dillon noted, experience shows that the pains endured in [wealth's] accumulation, 'and the anxiety suffered in preserving it, effectually destroy our capacity for enjoying the bliss which it is supposed to insure, long before misfortune or death snatches it form our grasp.'" Above All Earthly Pow'rs by David Wells pg. 196

"The worst sin of pride consists in its breathtaking dishonesty: construcing a view of oneself in light of the facts. Pride, as [Thomas] Aquinas put it, is an offense against right reason. Or as Mother Teresa once said, 'I am always very glad that my slanderers should tell a trifling lie about me rather than the whole terrible truth." Pride and Humility by Rober S. Rayburn from Tabletalk magazine May 2008 pg.64

Cable TV

i come today with a prayer request. A prayer request for a generation that is being influenced more and more each day by all kinds of different mediums.

The most significant thing that seems to bothers me and needs the work of God to be changed is cable television. Cable tv has gone from a broadcast news medium to broadcasting whatever gets them ratings. By watching tv shows that are on today i can see that a these things seem to be a major driving force in ratings. Lust, alcohol, lieing, and greed. Now how great do those four things sounds? Sounds like tv hasn't really gone in a Godly direction since its exception. Now yes there are still several shows that broadcast morally positve ideas, but for the most part cable tv is preying on us as sinners and feeding empty desires that are driven by sin.

Here are some examples of shows.

Swingers...well here is an easy one huh...it is a show about a family that enjoys having sex with other couples around the neighborhood. They don't call it infedility because all the partners are ok with it, but come on lets be serious. Other minor storylines include drug addicted and alcoholic parents, and a girl that is trying to seduce her teacher. There truly is not to much you can positivelysay about this show.

Moment of Truth...this is another show that is very easy to pick at. It is about a person who is asked questions about their life, and if they answer truthfully than they get money. Questions like "Have you cheated on your wife" "Do you love your parents" "Have you slept with your wifes sister"...and all this for money.

CSI: Las Vegas...CSI over recent years and throught the diminshing amount of material has been forced to make their episodes more and more racey. Now we see episdodes about mobsters and strippers that are murdered. And yes that the premise is them putting the criminal in jail, but my question is "why do they always have to bring the camera into those spots?" Why do they always have a second or two when the show some guy gambling or in a strip club? It seems like they are showing these images just to keep the viewer interested, and i say they are unwarranted.

House...This show is about a drug addicted doctor who will do a wrong or immoral thing as long as it saves the patients life. House is all the time saying people don't change. People lie. People are bad and shouldn't be trusted in anyway. What terrible storylines. Here is a guy who is putting survival as the most important thing in life. House is an open atheist as well as most of his staff. Anytime anyperson is written in as Christian they are constanlty chastized and told that their religion is meaningless and is untruthful because people can't change.

Gameshows...everyone is what will you do for money... what will you do for this...etc. Now i don't think all gameshows are evil, but i wish most would stop broadcasting selfish and greedy motifs..deal

Love Shows...wow...these are easy. I love New York 1-2, Bachelor (how ever many), Who wants to Marry a Millionaire, Flavor of Love (1-3), Tila Tequila (1-2), etc...i mean the list goes on. these shows promote sex and alcohol. Thats it. They are about how much you can drink, how much you can party, how much you can attract the other guy or girl, and how likely you are to have sex with them. Now yes some out there are a little bit more reserved than others, but the storylines of sex and other things are still there.


Now i'll get off my soap box for now because these lists could go on and on. Todays tv has changed is the point. Less and Less is being censored everyday. And i'll be honest i catch myself watching some of these same shows every week. I get caught up in them too. But you just have to pray that God can shape the ways of your heart. God can show you something more worth your time on earth. All things should be used to glorify God, and i feel to many times that watching these shows i am not Glorifying God. So I pray to you God, for other people out there struggling, and for me...because you are the maker of all thinds and the Lord of all.

Paul said in Ephesians..."those who have been stealing must steal no longer. but must work so that they have something useful to do with their own hands." So by saying that don't shut yourself away from the media or the outside world, but put your life and mind toward something worthwhile.

Michigan Baptism Bash

Two years and 8 months ago God saved, rebirthed me, regenerated me, brought me to life, awakened me, opened my eyes and ears, imparted His righteousness to me, called me, wrought faith in me through grace, and all the other wonderful ways we experience salvation from sin through Christ.

Because of somewhat odd circumstances I was not baptised but was able to share my testimony publicly a couple times over the next few months. Tonight, Lord willing, I will be baptised at Goldfish Swim School right outside of Detroit, Michigan. I am celebrating with some wonderful brothers and sisters and friends.

This morning I reflected on a powerful passage in Romans 6.

"What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don't you know that all of us who were baptised into Christ Jesus were baptised into His death? We were therefore buried with Him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life." Rom 6:1-4

Over the past months as I grow farther and farther away from the day that God saved me the realization of just how real "new life" is explodes in mind. Every time I go to my home town and think about my years under God's wrath or any time that I reflect on that period in my life it frightens the crap out of me, but it also fills me with hope that my new birth is a real thing and Christ is alive and the Holy Spirit is powerful and the gospel is true! I am not the person I am today outside of these things being true.

So, praise Christ! Praise Christ! And I am encouraged to pray for those that remain under God's wrath and are dead in their sins. God is faithful and sovereign and merciful!

Charles

Blog it out

hey here is the blog i am working on. i have limitred experince in writing computer programs but i am going to try and get this things running in top condition. if anyone wants to add someone just send me a note and i can do it. i expect this thing to be in game condition by the end of this week. holla and good luck in finals